In the middle of a pause

Midweek is always the busiest when things get a start on Monday. Interruptions and distractions tend to cause delay even with some planning ahead. I often was watchful and reminded myself to take a pause from the chain of work tasks, personal assignments and to-dos for a step back to see if I can streamline my schedule better.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the deadlines and committments and wonder if the use of my time to deliver the decisions I made daily are indeed producing any fruits of labour. Is it leading me to the results I want? Already as it is, decision making can be difficult amidst all the complexities and often, it takes lots of PRAYER.

Today I took another pause again and placed aside all the work from my table and picked up Elisabeth Elliot's book - Keeping a quiet heart. In the article "Spiritual oppression" (its intriguing she titled the article as this but later I realised why so). She commented as a missionary, writer, speaker and author of several books that she often feel overwhelmed by work that need to be done and the utter inadequacy to cope. She chanced upon a letter written to her late father, who was an editor of Sunday Times school on the verge of a nervous breakdown and consoled by this old veteran counsel in the letter to him :" I feel that you must count it all joy that you are passing through this phase of difficulty, for they are sure signs that God is blessing you. "

How does Elisabeth Elliot interpret it to her circumstances? Here is an excerpt of what she wrote: "Wasnt it a wonder that this letter has been preserved so that I chanced upon it during the hour of my need? That it is so like the Lord, for it is through the tender austerity of our very troubles that the son of the man comes knocking. In every event, He seeks an entrance to my heart. Yes, even in my most helpless, futile, fruitless moments. The very cracks and empty crannies of my life, my perplexities and hurts and botched up jobs, He wants to fill with Himself, His joy, His life. The more unsatisfactory my performance, the more He calls me to share His yoke. "

I sense God entering into my heart the moment I read this. Yes indeed in trying to keep up with daily expectations, I feel overwhelmed by the burden and commitments. Sometimes fear will creep in and joy dissipated in the anxious effort to keep up the results I desire. Sometimes, even the thought of whether the decisions are in line of God's will can perplex us.

Ain't such an opposition that we faced spiritually most of the time ? I was alert that I ought to look up to Him rather than looking at my sacrifices and toil. I feel the need not to push myself beyond what I can take, my limits and my constraints. But to STOP and TAKE A PAUSE to honor the work that I am doing. I have measured myself too rigidly against the set of rules and expectations that I ought to be, which in paradox sent me crumbling by my own standards. The gripping of the flesh is so powerful that we cannot allow ourselves to let go of "I should". I began now to read more into the article title. I realise the spiritual opposition that I am facing. And often we collapsed under fatigue, disappointment and guilt that we are such utter failures in keeping up. And we were reminded not to moan or complained, the increasing guilt threw us further down the mudslide.

This is not God's intention for us. Letting go is the key. Letting go and leaning on God rathar than relying ourselves and surrendering ourselves everyday to Him , as we patiently trust Him and pray for His help to take us through the daily decisions and work and through the unknowns of the future. In such circumstances, I have to lay everything before Him faithfully and let Him lead me across.

In the middle of the pause, God brought on this revelation to me. Can we pause too, for a little more while as you, my dear readers read this. That in the light of everything, we pray that

"Help us Lord, to know you better and help us keep our focus on you."