In between

Have you ever struggle to leave in the present from where you are now and moving towards the direction from where you want to be? Often, I get really impatient. And as the days flew, I woke up someday thinking, what can I do better? What more can I do? After my dad went through the life and death surgery, it began to dawn on me even more that time is precious. The clock ticks and next thing you know, its Friday. And then another Monday starts. I have limited my time for leisure. My brain is ticking, thinking. Directions, next thing to do, reflection of the day, the list goes. These created tension. Not at all the life I want to lead nor enjoy. I couldn't surrender my day. As Joyce Meyer always emphasize - Enjoy where you are to where you are going. It definitely not easy as I need to unlearn the current vicious cycle of doing to keep still with God with a sense of discernment. I am not sure I am on the right path yet but I do begin to become more positive , to spend my time more fruitfully and not become too emotional or dwelling on negative stuff. Its alot more I describe like fighting. I fight to resist those thoughts and try to regain the joy. I also go into prayers and gratitude more. I try to end the day reflection - what blessings I received each day. Blessing in tiny things. Simply,someone give you a praise, or come over for a casual chat. An offer of tea or piece of chocolate. A smile from someone on the street. A sale person that serves you pleasantly. An encouragement from sermons I listen online. A bible scripture that brings some sprinkle of joy. Provision for the family. I still have a habit of controlling, which I guess it results from the Lack in the past. So I hope to trust God more and let go what I have to, got to, and others' have to, got to. And I should learn to love myself more too. So get over to Robbie Leonard site and hear his thoughts on http://robbieleonard.com/ on his own version of the in between. Love