I sat before a twenty year old gal. Pretty, tall, long lustrous hair, she has all that any babe wants in a babe. A current undergraduate student, she has all the promising future any gal has. And I know she has a kind heart that adds to her attractiveness.
She looked at me with a baffle expression. “Am I in the wrong?” I think I have done a wrong move to call him yesterday night, after I quarrelled with my mum and become hysterical. I should not have done that. I should have control myself. I should have, I should have.. and I should not ..” Off she trailed. And I watched her spiral into a vicious cycle of self questioning.
After much probing, she poured.
Seven times, he left her for different girlfriends.
Seven times, after he ran into trouble or break-ups with girlfriends. He returned, wanting her back.
Many times, she went into depression after he left and resorted to Prozac tablets.
Many times, she went into anxiety disorders and seeks psychiatrist treatments
And each time, she forgave and accepted him all out of love.
And every time, he did. He doesn’t know how much she suffered emotionally, obviously.
On top of her family issues, that sent her into a mental hospital for half a year in a lock-up ward.
Wading in a murky mud, this time she is all but entangled in her relationship with her first love.
She continued with a look of speculation on her face. "This time, he deleted my profile from his face book profile and declared himself single" “You think it happen again?” “Will he leave me again?” “Why did he do that?” “Can I message him now or maybe not? In case I cause it to happen again. What shall I do..?”
“For the eight time?” I replied, almost cynically. Seven hours of presence with her was not enough for me to soothe her past the seven times of estrangements. All I can is to provide logical reasoning of the unworthiness of the whole matter. Get out of it. Before suicidal thoughts come into being. Pray. Don't let a wonderful life ahead be trodden.
These are dire consequences as a result of ignorance. The dire states built up as a result of years of indecisiveness. The dire outcome of love so blind yet illusional, seemingly real yet , devoid in reality. This is definitely not a matter of a game, but a matter of dealing with someone’s life and being. Wake up.
Have a conscience. Not only that. A tender conscience.
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2 comments:
I think she needs serious psychiatric help, in sense of really good psychiatric counselling, not the slap-dash 'help' one finds in public hospitals. My guess is there is something in her psychiatric make-up to make her continuing to want to be a door mat - if not him, it will be someone else anyway.
This is what needs to be dug out of her and addressed. She should be referred to a good psychiatrist who is also caring enough about his/her patients to want to heal them.
You are so right. I discovered that her mum faced the same adultery issue. So her family situation does affect her make-up.
Yes, recently on a breakup on the eighth time, she is still blaming herself.I find it difficult to talk to her out of it after the second day round.
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