Stop messing with her life

I sat before a twenty year old gal. Pretty, tall, long lustrous hair, she has all that any babe wants in a babe. A current undergraduate student, she has all the promising future any gal has. And I know she has a kind heart that adds to her attractiveness.

She looked at me with a baffle expression. “Am I in the wrong?” I think I have done a wrong move to call him yesterday night, after I quarrelled with my mum and become hysterical. I should not have done that. I should have control myself. I should have, I should have.. and I should not ..” Off she trailed. And I watched her spiral into a vicious cycle of self questioning.

After much probing, she poured.

Seven times, he left her for different girlfriends.
Seven times, after he ran into trouble or break-ups with girlfriends. He returned, wanting her back.
Many times, she went into depression after he left and resorted to Prozac tablets.
Many times, she went into anxiety disorders and seeks psychiatrist treatments
And each time, she forgave and accepted him all out of love.
And every time, he did. He doesn’t know how much she suffered emotionally, obviously.
On top of her family issues, that sent her into a mental hospital for half a year in a lock-up ward.

Wading in a murky mud, this time she is all but entangled in her relationship with her first love.

She continued with a look of speculation on her face. "This time, he deleted my profile from his face book profile and declared himself single" “You think it happen again?” “Will he leave me again?” “Why did he do that?” “Can I message him now or maybe not? In case I cause it to happen again. What shall I do..?”

“For the eight time?” I replied, almost cynically. Seven hours of presence with her was not enough for me to soothe her past the seven times of estrangements. All I can is to provide logical reasoning of the unworthiness of the whole matter. Get out of it. Before suicidal thoughts come into being. Pray. Don't let a wonderful life ahead be trodden.

These are dire consequences as a result of ignorance. The dire states built up as a result of years of indecisiveness. The dire outcome of love so blind yet illusional, seemingly real yet , devoid in reality. This is definitely not a matter of a game, but a matter of dealing with someone’s life and being. Wake up.

Have a conscience. Not only that. A tender conscience.

Be still and know that I am

I came across the description of Rembrant's painting in a book by Stephen Arteburg and is intrigued to see how it is like. So I searched and came upon Rembrant: The Return of the Prodigal Son.

The second time I ran into Rembrant's works, I was in a hurry to checkout a book I grabbed off at the counter. While meandering through the aisles at lightning speed, I hit straight on a shelf of Rembrant Van Rijin's books. Well, not by chance.

In the end, I left the library with an additional book in hand. That which describe this melancholy artist's life surrounding true purpose arts. The great master of all artists. Someone who is so indulged into self portraits, who has the intricate eye that see beyond an object to its depth. The kind of looking that contemplates, beholds and reflects. He demonstrated it all through his paintings.

One of the excerpts about The Prodigal Son I read:
"The Prodigal Son was a subject that Rembrandt would return to over and over, in etchings, drawings and paintings. Of all the themes of forgiveness he would weave into his work, none is more central, none more layered, than this one. In the last year of his life, Rembrandt painted and perhaps did not finish, The Return of Prodigal Son, now in the Hermitage Muesum in St. Petersburg. It is suggests that it may be the greatest picture ever painted."

Perhaps, the following can describe the feelings behind it:

You accept unfailingly, who I am
How wonderful You are
In loneliness, in isolation, in brokenness
I connect
Like the Prodigal Son I return
To your embrace & total acceptance
Like the Father in cloak of deep red
The color of love
I went looking everywhere
For home, for fulfillment and could not found
I make the journey searching, worn and blistered
Finally I return
In your embrace, I kneel and buries my head
The same humility, the same mercy and grace and touch
You extend your hands to me
And said
Be still and know that I AM

Evan C.

Exodus 3: 14 God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.'

Come on, Heaven's Children

I always tear when I sang Amazing Grace in church.

Because some words reasonate so much of life. But check this out, a cutie's version and the Lord's prayer. Listen how she stretched her "Amen".

Amazing Grace & The Lord's Prayer

Another sweet angel, Over The Rainbow

All reminded me of my favorite song, when I was eleven years old.

God, you knows my heart.

Today, By John Denver
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

Ill be a dandy, and Ill be a rover
Youll know who I am by the songs that I sing
Ill feast at your table, Ill sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

I cant be contented with yesterdays glory
I cant live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story Ill laugh and Ill cry and Ill sing

"In the whole divine journey, no one else can walk your pathway. In the whole cosmic choir, no one else can sing your song." John Ortberg

Mom!..What happened to my hair?

A fellow mate I lost touch, sent forth this photo of her little boy - after a haircut. I chuckled at his expression. All children are indeed beautiful.

The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
Matthew 18:5 "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.